Saturday November 27, 2010

Finished my FAFSA for school this eve. One step closer to film school!

Friday November 26, 2010

I met D.D. at St. Marks for coffee. We talked about poly relationships as well as open-ended relationships and I solicited her help in planning a surprise for a loved one. I’m looking forward to seeing how it goes.

Thursday November 25, 2010

Elli and I enjoyed Thanksgiving dinner at the house. The food was great and it was a relaxing day. I am fortunate to have Elli in my life. She loves and adores everything about me. I can honestly say that the depth and intensity of her love is like none I have experienced before. Latter we watched Sarface. I really enjoy that movie it has been my experience that the movie is a true reflection of both the time and the trappings of the lifestyle. In a dark twisted way Tony Montana was living the American dream.

Wednesday November 24, 2010

Went and had coffee with Tracy from work again. Latter on in the evening I was thinking about our relationship and decided to no longer put forth anymore time or energy into it unless it begins to be reciprocated. One side relationships are unfair and a waste of time. I have been on the giving and receiving end of such relationships and I just don’t want to play that game anymore.

Saturday November 20 2010

I was accepted to Aurora Community College where the core general education classes will be taught at the Colorado Film School. So now I have to apply for my student financial aid and then take the Accuplacer. One,Two, Three, Showtime!

Friday November 19, 2010

Tracy and I were supposed to see each other today in fact she was going to come down and see my apartment however her husband took the day off and our plans fell through. That happens when all parties are not on board with current relationships and in some ways is reminiscent of how my relationship with Elli was in the very beginning. I guess I feel caught between being poly and having everyone on the same page and understanding that Tracy’s relationship with her husband is not my relationship, it’s hers to do and run as she sees fit. My relationship with Tracy should it ever materialize, will be very different then the one I initially envision my relationships would be when I first ventured into polyamory. I feel as if I am becoming more flexible and realistic with my expectations with my other relationships. I am very fortunate that Elli is not only my primary relationship but she fulfills the deep emotional connection, maternal nurturing and sexual needs that I have been searching for all my life.

Thursday November 18, 2010

This evening while at couples therapy I learned more about my communication style with Elli during conflict as opposed to when I am passionate about a topic. It was interesting to observe the non-verbals, tone of voice and what was being heard as opposed to what is being said. This was our third visit and Elli and I have decided to continue with therapy and the current therapist.

Wednesday November 17 2010

Had coffee with Tracy on our break talked about seeing each other more often and having her spend the night at some point in the near future.

Monday November 15, 2010

Tired so tired. I lay on the bed my mind is in the twilight a realm in-between being awake and sleep. Elli takes me in her mouth, her head moves rhythmically up and down. I slip into a dominant headspace and grab a handful of her hair and pull hard. The blood flows quickly into my cock as I forcibly push her head down and make her deep throat the length of my longing. My voice is low but firm as I issue her commands, “open wider, slow down, relax.” She worships my cock with a devoted passion paying homage to the idol of lust. I hold her head and mouth still as I thrust my desire into welcoming mouth deeper and deeper face fucking her with a brutal passion that I haven’t felt in ages. Time stops and we are in the eternal now a moment to freeze and own. As I explode into her mouth I find myself in the heat of the night in the garden of indulgence and dark delight.

Saturday November 13, 2010

Last day off. I’m going to do a little writing, go to the gym then do some indoor rock climbing. Latter Elli and I are going to curl up and watch Fight Club.