Friday November 12, 2010

It was a nice and relaxing day spent entirely by myself. Applied for admissions to the Colorado Film School and completed my admissions application for the Art Institute of Colorado. The Art Institute wanted a $50.00 fee for the application so I didn’t send it rather completed all of it and scheduled another appointment next week so that I can meet with an Ai advisor and compare their curriculum verses the Colorado Films School curriculum, price and practicality. Hopefully I can speak to a few students at the school because I can learn a lot from them.

Since Renee never got back to me this week about when she wanted to meet up with me I filled up my schedule. I don’t mind working around her schedule she just needs to try a little harder to communicate her schedule to me otherwise I will focus spending time exclusively with Elli and Trish.

Thursday November 11, 2010

Elli and I had two separate individual therapy sessions and then we did a couples session. I was at the Psychology Center for so long it felt like I was in day treatment. Couples therapy went well and we are going to begin to work on conflict therapy. After our sessions we went to my physical therapy appointment for my hand. We had a delicious dinner at a Thai restaurant. Latter we had a BDSM play session and though it was light compared to those we have done in the past I really enjoyed it and Elli handled it well. Next we did some fisting and some play with a strap on. It was a good night!

Wednesday November 10, 2010

Elli is going over to Amy’s house after work, which is just as well because this evening I found myself completely drained from work and angry at the world. I ended up shutting off my phone and not talking to either Trish or Renee. Sometimes I just need alone time without obligation and instead turned my attention to a film that I had wanted to see for some time.

I watched “I Stand Alone” a 1998 French drama film, written and directed by Gaspar Noé, and starring Philippe Nahon, Blandine Lenoir, Frankye Pain and Martine Audrain. The original French title is Seul contre tous, which means "Alone against all". The film focuses on several pivotal days in the life of a bitter former butcher as he rages against the world. The film was the director's first feature-length production, and is a sequel to his 1991 short film Carne. Though not as visually or emotionally dynamic as Irreversible or the Enter the Void I enjoyed “I Stand Alone” because of it’s cinematic simplicity, psycho-sexual determinism and the interior monologue that is both profound and psychotic. It is a movie about sex and death but also about the inherent rage, violence, pride and sexual drive that is seated deep within the male psyche. The film explores a forbidden area of the male gender that is often denied or glossed over, one that is surrounded by myth and taboo. Gaspar Noé, creates a film that exposes the hideously entertaining wound for all to see.

I Stand Alone is definitely not for everyone. If the movie TAXI DRIVER was too much for you then you will want to skip I Stand Alone.

Saturday November 6, 2010

I went to the Art Institute of Colorado this morning and checked out the visual effects and animation department but I couldn’t stay to see the Digital film and video production so I will have to reschedule. Latter in the afternoon I did a light BDSM scene with her and to her using canes and a few impact toys. This was our first session together though she has seen me get beat plenty of times at the BDSM clubs. She handled it pretty well and as I was using the cane on her I imagined the rape scene she wanted to do. I envisioned repeatedly punching and slapping her and wrapping my strong hands around her throat as I fuck her like a sex toy. The images of brute force and objectification were really turning me on. After the canning I fisted her, which was her first time. I was able to get my hand about halfway in which is pretty good for the first time. Because I was so turned on I had to stop halfway through the scene and fuck her before starting the fisting again. It was a good night.

Friday November 5, 2010

Woke up and trained a client first thing this morning then a short while latter I dropped my taxes off to the local IRS office. The IRS doesn’t seem interested in garnishing my wages though I wish they would so I could pay them back and hold off my H.O.A. garnishment for my condo that is in foreclosure. Then I went to the car repair shop yet again with another problem. I think those bad mechanics messed my little burgundy chariot up. I went to the Colorado Film School at 2:00pm and did a tour. I like the feel of the school and was able to see a lot of the equipment and workstations that they use. Spent the rest of the evening by myself enjoying alone time. Oh how to I truly love my alone time!

Thursday November 4, 2010

Woke up exhausted from my work shift. The day was very busy practically every hour was planned out and this is something that really stresses me out a great deal. My only reprieve was when Elli and I walked back to the car from my dentist appointment. We took a walk on a path by the river and I came up with a photo shoot as well as a short film seen to do in that area. Latter in the evening Elli and I went to our first couples counseling session. We wanted to continue to work on bettering communication though since we initially considered counseling our communication has greatly improved. The counselor who is currently still in school seems uncertain. She didn’t really know what to make of us at first and had little if any idea what polyamory or BDSM were so we’re going to have to get her up to speed over the next few weeks. Elli seemed to like her and the session went well so at the end of the day that’s what’s important. Initially Elli and I were going to do a play scene and then I was gong to fist her latter but by the time we got home it was late and I had to be up at 5a.m. so we just ended up going to bed.

Saturday October 30, 2010

I went to Rock and Jammin and took and introductory lesson on indoor climbing and bouldering. I had a great time it was really fun. Reena came and watched for awhile but she didn’t participate. I wish I could have spent more time with her during this off shift but both our schedules have been hectic but in order to make the relationship work we both will need to work on setting time aside so that we can enjoy quality bounding time together. The same thing is true with Trish if she is still serious about having a relationship.

Thursday October 28, 2010

Another busy day! I really need a day all to myself without having to have a dozen appointments or errands. I need a day where I can just sit and do a little reading and writing and of course daydreaming.