Elli had her kids over for the greater part of the day. Good kids over all but loud like the youthful spirits they are. One child was plenty enough for me. My daughter, now 18 and completely on her own was a handful to say the least but despite the turbulent waters of life and the struggles that our relationship faced it all panned out in the end.
While Elli’s youngest (I call her Bella) is always happy to spend time with her mom and see me Elli’s oldest (I call her Ann) who is quickly approaching her teens blames me for her parents separation. While Ann knows intellectually I was not the cause of the divorce emotionally she needs someone safe to blame. True Elli does have a girlfriend that her daughters are both aware of but Elli moved in with me.
I spoke to Elli about Ann’s non-verbals after the girls had gone. Though Elli chalked up the general attitude towards becoming a teenager, which I agreed too but Elli was not aware of the non-verbals. At the moment it’s fine however when Ann begins to come over to the apartment after school to do her homework while she waits for a ride back home is where I think the most potential of trouble is going to be. Sure, Ann is entitled to be angry and to grieve and processes through the entire spectrum of emotions she has concerning the matter but all the adults in the situation need to share in Ann’s emotional well being and growth including her mother and father even if it’s inconvenient.
Anyway I should explore the challenges faced by people who have children and practice a non-conventional relationship model in another post.
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